Thursday, April 8, 2010

Hear me

I wish you would listen. I forgot to say one final thing to you:
I promised never to hurt you. And I wish I could say I'm sorry, if I ever did. I forgot to say it when I had the chance and now you won't listen.
Of course, there are more things I wish I could say. I wish I could ask you why you did everything you promised never to do. I wish I could know how you really felt, if you were living a lie or fighting a fear. I told you I hate it when people read my blogs, and I have no idea why you would ever read mine. But when I said: "if you wanted to be with me, you would have asked me already," I kind of wished that you would... well, ask me.
Only now my dreams have tangled themselves with reality and I sleep in Heaven and wake in Hell. And I'm not sure what I want. But it sure was never to hurt you or cut you out of my life. Losing you doesn't hurt; that's something I can accept. You lose people. But I can't accept breaking a promise. Especially since losing you is hard enough to accept.
You said once that my mind is beautiful. This is exactly why I both agree and disagree.

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